Sexual Behaviors: Setting Limits
Sexual behaviors are normal, even in very young children. Many children touch themselves, show their genitals to others, or ask questions about sex. Talk to your child about sex and let him know that it’s OK to ask you about his body. If your child has not asked you questions by the age of 5, you need to bring it up. This helps to keep your child from getting wrong information at school.
If you feel that your child’s behavior is not OK, such as touching his genitals in public, set some limits. Setting limits will not cause your child to be ashamed or to have hang-ups about sex. Your child needs to learn rules about touching and sexual behaviors. Use a calm and gentle tone. Never yell at your child if his sexual behavior is not OK.
Here are 4 simple rules you can teach your child to help him understand the limits.
- It’s OK for your child to touch their own genitals when they are alone, but it should be done in a private place, like their bedroom or a bathroom.
- It’s not OK for your child to show his genitals to other children or adults.
- It’s not OK for your child to touch other people’s genitals. Tell your child that genitals are people’s private places and that it’s not OK to touch them. Your child should never let other children or adults touch his genitals.
If your child is unable to follow these rules, even after being reminded of them, talk to your child’s healthcare provider.
Last modified: 2014-02-27
Last reviewed: 2014-02-20
Sexual Behaviors: Setting Limits: References
American Academy of Pediatrics, Healthy Children, “Masturbationâ€, 5/11/2013, accessed on 02/05/2014 from the web, http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Masturbation.aspx
Wed MD, “Helping Your School-Age Child Learn About the Bodyâ€, May 16, 2011 accessed February 19, 2014 from website: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/tc/helping-your-school-age-child-learn-about-the-body-topic-overview
“Clinical Report–The Evaluation of Sexual Behaviors in Children — Kellogg and Committee on Child Abuse and Neglect 124 (3): 992 — AAP Policy.” AAP Policy – Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Sept. 2009. Web. 06 Oct. 2011. <http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;124/3/992>. “Understanding Sexual Behaviors of Children.” Fairfax County Health. Web. < http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dfs/childrenyouth/sexualbehaviorchildren.htm >.
Sex Education for Young Children – Health Library.” Texas Children’s Pediatric Associates. Web. <http://www.texaschildrenspediatrics.org/healthlibrary/pa_sexed_hhg.aspx>.
“Understanding Sexual Behaviors of Children.” Fairfax County Health. Web. <http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dfs/webdocs/childrensafe/sexualbehaviorchildren.htm>.
Children with Sexual Behavior Problems (SBP). Tennessee Adoption Support and Preservation. Web. http://www.tnasap.org/enews/ChildrenWithSexualBehaviorProblems.pdf